when i grow up...

aragraghraghrghagrar i hate careers and subject selection.

this is so ridiculous. how can i have a plan b when i don't even know my plan a?
and how am i supposed to describe myself as a learner?





this is stupid. stupider than richard wilkins


i made a new friend this week. his name is friedrich and he is from bon which is in germany. he dreams in both english and german.

LOOK AT WHERE HE LIVES (not his actual house, just his country)












and now look at where i live...



















oh god

happy rover

ahhh i love love love harry potter and to prove it i have a story for you:

so when i was younger, i had a bit of a ... problem distinguishing between reality and fiction. like i truly believed in goblins and fairies and talking animals (i was a strange child).
i also believed in harry potter.
i really really believed in harry potter. i thought that there really was a school called hogwarts and a place called diagon alley and that dumbledore and professor snape et cetera actually existed.
anyway i was so enveloped by my delusion that i believed, with concrete certainty, that i would actually be attending hogwarts. i understood that, on my birthday, a letter would arrive via owl requesting my precense at the aforementioned school.

needless to say that said letter and owl never arrived and basically my birthday consisted of me in tears and my mother having to explain to me the difference between fact and fiction, reality and dreams et cetera et cetera.
worst birthday ever.


okay then, story proving why i am such an embarrassing human being over!

wait, no it's not (oh joy of joys)!
so the more hardcore harry potter fans out there are reading this thinking "hang on wait a minute, you start at hogwarts when you're 11..."




yes, it's true, i was 11 when i finally discovered that fairies and dragons didn't exist...i told you this was a sad story (that's a lie, i didn't, but i'm going to leave it anyway)





also this is a good excuse to include photos of emma watson's burberry campaign.
she did such a fantastic job!














magnificent!

you see, the thing is..

i really really dislike teenage relationships.
so incredibly annoying. i hate girls who talk about nothing but their boyfriend/crush (i hate that word) of the moment.
and i really hate it when they say "i love you" because it is simply not true. it's just so so incredibly frustrating to listen to/put up with. arhgarhaghgrah

on the other hand i love frontline. especially gary sweet's denim on denim in season one episode three, the awful re-enactments and dominica's hair! the box set is basically making my holiday, i'm not sure what i'd do without it...
















greatest show ever. jeffrey salter is absolutely gorgeous. he is probably the best character.

also, new shoooooes!












only $69 from nine west, lovely!

currently listening to regina spektor's new album 'far' and it is beautiful. much, much, much better than begin to hope. so happy right now

war is peace

i started and finished george orwell's 1984 today.
interesting comparison with aldous huxley's brave new world.

orwell fears that what we hate and fear will be our downfall, while huxley fears what we love and enjoy will ultimately ruin mankind.

so then which will prevail? personally i'm rooting (no pun intended) for brave new world. bring on the mindless sex and harmless drugs......




*cough*

and another thing

i'm sorry but i do not find megan fox attractive in any way. she looks like a fucking alien. my god, stop creating "megan fox is lyk sooo hot!!!!" groups on facebook. you're clogging up my highlights. fuckers

also, stephenie meyer (and the twilight series) is the spawn of satan. actually no, not the spawn of satan. because if she was the spawn of satan it would imply that i hate her, and thus i must put effort into something and i'm (as previously stated) extremely lazy.
i just find it fucking ridiculous that girls my own age (and older) think that she, and the aforementioned book series, is some kind of literary genius. several reasons for my hate (sorry i mean apathy):

1. purple prose
jesus christ this woman abuses the thesaraus to no end. reading the books made me feel slightly ill in the stomach due to some of meyer's ridiculous sentences. example:
He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn’t sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal
do i really need to say anything else on this topic? i think not..

2. bella is the most pathetic excuse for a main protagonist and female ever
she represents everything that feminists have been fighting to demolish. she is meek and not terribly bright. she attaches herself to a male with absolutely no personality simply because he is some adonis-like figure and just so gorgeous and then when he leaves her in the seconds books she proceeds to falls to fall into a deep depression because she just can't bear to live without him. she is so dependent on him and it just reinforces the gender stereotypes that we are battling to destroy. she has no interests, no hobbies, outside of loving edward and she gives up her aspirations and plans for college to marry him. the saddest thing is that elizabeth bennet, one of the greatest feminist heroes of all time, and pride and prejudice are said to be stephenie meyer's inspiration for one of the books.

3. there is no plot or character development whatsoever
according to good ol' steph, you don't really need a climax, falling action or character development. all you need to do is focus on how perfect your male hero is and how they are sooo in love

4. their relationship is abusive
he watches her while she sleeps and removes the engine from her car to prevent her from seeing her friend, to which she responds with "he's just a little overprotective" and "he does it because he loves me". and then the sex scene in the 4th book. he is "so lost in his love for her" that he destroys a bed and she ends up covered in bruises, which she then proceeds to hide from him, so he doesn't feel guilty. holy fuck, i'm not going to say anything else.

wait i am
number 5. stephenie meyer is a mormon
hahahahah just kidding...not really


so many more reasons i can't be bothered to type.

rant over.

p.s.













AHHH! devil woman! devil woman! (sorry i couldn't resist)

i am

i am watching:
skins season 3 (i'm going to say..not as good as the first two)

i am listening to:
sarah blasko's new album as day follows night

i am eating:
avocado and vegemite on toast (the way to my heart)

i am disappointed in:
my non existent culinary skills
my non existent social skills

i am thinking:
that i need a new haircut, i was thinking dye it black and get a mullet?

i am reading:
kafka on the shore by haruki murakami (absolutely brilliant)

i am loving:
penguin classics $10 books (golden!)
my family being absent

i am hating (way too much):
lady gaga
miley cyrus/hannah montana (actually all disney starlets)
purity rings (please... my god)
people who don't reply to text messages

i am wishing:
for some loving

ramblings of a drunk

so lately i've found myself being compared to various fictional characters (among them luna lovegood and alice glass) and the one i've received most is cassie ainsworth from skins. and i'm really not sure whether to take it as a compliment or insult.
because on one hand, she's an anorexic, obsessive compulsive, drug addict with incredibly low self esteem.
but on the other hand she has, by far, the sweetest clothes out of anyone in the series.













i'm taking this as a compliment

in other news i have discovered possibly the most attractive male ever (thankyou myspace)














he's some guy from some band (called little red) and at the risk of sounding like some deluded stalker i think he is rather cute.


i saw bruno today and really the only thing i can say is .... there was a fuckload of penis. like jesus christ it was basically 82 minutes of dick.


i also put a pair of jeans on layby. these jeans actually:



















can't wait to pay them off....

25 things you really didn't need to know about me

god, i hate facebook

1. i hate alot of things, probably too many - exercise, the national party, lady gaga, summer, twilight

2. i'm afraid of the ocean

3. i find it impossible to understand people - their motives, emotions, reactions to events/statements etc. this has led to people telling me i am autistic.
i'm not autistic, i just don't understand.

4. when it comes to love and relationships i'm a cynic

5. i'm absolutely terrified that one day i will end up like my parents

6. panadol doesn't work, i have to use nurofen plus or mercindol

7. i hate jewelry but i always have to know the time. if i don't know the time i feel sick.

8. i have trouble seperating reality and dreams

9. when i have a cold i hallucinate

10. i would do cocaine in an instant

11. i over-exaggerate to the point where i'm just lying

12. i'm not really all that good at anything

13. i spend too much time on the internet

14. i hate incorrect spelling/grammar/punctuation but i don't mind if you don't use capitals

15. i know every word to peter sarstedt's "where do you go to (my lovely)?"

16. when i'm home alone i dance naked to george michael

17. "hurt" by johnny cash makes me cry

18. i think about this one boy far too much and that makes me feel sick for being so pathetic

19. i spent a majority of 2008 in bed. depression isn't fun

20. i've never liked the same guy for more than a week because i have little patience and get bored easily. that is, until now

21. i drink a lot. probably too much

22. i also read a lot. but not as much as i want to. mainly due to the fact i have no money for new books, and the central coast has shit libraries

23. i swear too much

24. i remember useless pop cutlure shit but i can't remember what i had for dinner yesterday

25. i don't have a best friend. i have best friends but no one best friend

bathing in boredom

second post in the space of...an hour? fuck i'm bored/have no life

anyway...best website:
Women and Dogs

it's basically some person who collects pictures of women and dogs.
jesus fucking christ, who does that? and then you go to find out more about the website and read this little gem:

"And the number of visitors continues to grow (Well it could hardly shrink could it? Ed) (Hang on, I am the Editor, I'm talking to myself! Marcus)."

this sentence disturbs me slightly because a) he's talking to himself and clearly hasn't spotted the backspace button and b) he is a HE. this man (marcus i presume...) spends his time collecting photos of women and their dogs.



weirdest fetish ever.

i wonder if he's hot

THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

as most of you know..actually none of you know this, in fact, you don't actually exist because no one ever reads this shit.

anyway today i discovered this and yes i know it's dated 16/6/2009 but i'm very behind.
for those of you too lazy to click on the link, it is 200+ words of heaven. mainly due to this sentence:
"Spektor also revealed she's likely to be back in Australia this summer!"
you see i have this unhealthy love/obsession with regina spektor. she is amazing incredible blah blah blah insert adjective here..so this news is fucking awesome.
also i hate summer with a passion, due to my sickly, pasty skin and TOTALLY RATIONAL fear of the ocean (why do i live in australia?). so this gives me something to look forward to this summer.
*insert high pitched girly squeal here*


fuck i'm excited

JJJ Hottest 100

has been wonderful so far. so i'm going to post my top ten:

1. johnny cash - hurt
it makes me cry

2. sigur ros - untitled 4 ("alafoss")
sigur ros are magic and truth be told there should be several of their songs on this list (namely saeglopur and svefn-g-englar).
but i chose untitled 4 because it is, quite simply, beautiful. it sends shivers down my spine and makes me sad for a reason i can't seem to name.

3. jeff buckley - lover, you should have come over
i don't think i need to say anything...

4. radiohead - street spirit
radiohead should have more than one song here but street spirit is just so heartbreakingly sad. it makes you feel like shit but thom yorke's voice is just so magnificant.

5. augie march - one crowded hour
this song kicks arse. it has simply the best lyrics.

6. john lennon - imagine
dont disagree and try to be tough. you know i'm right. best. song. ever.

7. regina spektor - dance anthem of the 80's
all of her songs just make me smile

8. the rolling stones - paint it, black
brian jones' sitar gets me every time.

9. the cure - the love cats
every time i hear this song i get up and dance, and i'm a very awkward dancer.
one day i will learn to play the bass line and then my life will be complete.

10. the killers - uncle johnny
it opens with "when everybody else refrained, my uncle johnny did cocaine"
how can you top that?




this was about ten times more difficult than i thought it would be.